I've been thinking of things. Ideas, if you will. Maybe that is the best way to get through a season where there are no long weekends until April. You'd think the federal government could copy the Americans here too, but no. "Flag Day" , indeed.

But I digress. Ideas. How about technical writers on You Tube? You sit there and show off your skills with Frame Maker. Or AuthorIT. How you can make an XSLT script sing in DITA. The entire work day of a technical writer.

Yes, why not? " A Day In The Life of a Communications Specialist" . (We have to Hollywood-up that title. " Technical Writer " won't fly. Someone who remembers the Andy Dick show will shut this production down at the gate before it even gets a chance to strut. Hey, I liked the Andy Dick show, but Hollywood producers are notoriously superstitious and conservative, especially when it comes to money....)

Of course, that title doesn't cut it either. Too boring and accurate. Like a chapter title. Have to sex it up a bit.

" The Words Whisperer ". Chick flick. " Verbo: Splicing Fragments ". Good for the action crowd. But we need something that has broad audience appeal...

" The Communicator " . Ah. There we go. Short. Pithy. Implies a dangerous character who is capable of anything, while also being mild enough to appeal to those who don't like dangerous characters who are capable of anything.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting excited.

Now, there is a trend in Hollywood to make the technical writer a bit of a loner weirdo. I don't know about you, but this really doesn't project an image that I want to send out to the public. The Communicator will be female and dresses in black sheath skirts, drives a Porsche, and has her own company parking spot. In her spare time, she helps the injured and weak, while also running her own martial arts studio.

The opening scene will be The Communicator breaking into a board room full of dumb male executives. " Stop! " she will say. " You can't send out the product like this! "

" Durrr?" the CEO (and, as it will turn out, the main villain of the piece) will riposte.

" The user won't be able to understand how to control the grapple grommets! " she will cry out, heartfelt. And then she will pull out a PowerPoint presentation from her attache case and sway the board to her side. " Curse you, Communicator, " the CEO will mutter, as he slinks away. " You might have won the battle, but you will not win the war. "

Goose bumps! I have goose bumps here! Who is in for a junket for a Hollywood script pitching session? After all, there's enough story here for a bunch of writers.

Then we can plan the sequels.

And the merchandising.

And what I'm going to do for April Fool's Day when it seems I can't follow a calendar properly.

Busy! We will be busy, people!